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Joke of the Day

"she told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... so I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth."

"Why do women love chocolate? Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing."

"After the man was named bishop by the church, what was his next move? Diagonal"

"I think I may be emotionally constipated...I haven't given a crap in days."

"How do you know you're at a redneck wedding? Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church"

"I just tore a dumpling in half It was wonton destruction"

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"What do you call a British dinosaur? A tea rex."

"I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down."

"You lost me at ""my psychic said.."""