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Joke of the Day
"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."
Next Joke
"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"
"An inverse exorcism... When you have to summon Satan to get the priest out of the boy."
"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."
"Don't let a Chromosome get you down One of my personal favorites."
"Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle? Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on."
"What do you call a prostitute with cum on her face? A Taxi, Her jobs done."
"What do you call olive oil that is really outgoing? Extroversion"
"What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas? A Wii fit"
"Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"