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Joke of the Day

"Is there anything less intimidating than a cop on a bicycle? Wobble on, agent of justice, wobble on."

"What do hippies call there sex life before they get married? Prius"

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near..... Because your an asshole that's why, dickweed"

"I was walking along the road the other day when I saw a dead, baby ghost... ...however if I think about it it was probably a handkerchief"

"Climate change is such a joke... Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up."

"Wife : Even if you cheated on me, I wouldn't leave you. Me : Really? Wife : Yes. Why would I reward you for cheating?"

"*changes voicemail recording to ""your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again"

"Light Yagami thought he was going to die on those stairs, but then he woke up the next day... And realized it was just a Near-Death experience."

"The ""Ooooo"" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower."

"WTF!!!! My son just called me the N-word!! Neglectful"