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Joke of the Day
"What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas? A Wii fit"
Next Joke
"I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg."
"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."
"What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer? Woofleball"
"What's the difference between a thug and a phone charger? A phone charger charges batteries, but a thug has battery charges"
"I always keep a gun in my pocket so people won't think I'm happy to see them."
"I want to lose weight, but I don't want to get caught up in one of those 'eat right and exercise' fads."
"If you're at a bar & see a security camera, make the Halpert Face at it. If the cops are ever reviewing the footage, it'll give em a laugh"
"What do little miss muffet and ISIS have in common? They both have curds in their whey."
"WIFE: I just bought toilet paper. How are we out already? ME: *hiding dog that I wrapped up like a mummy* it's a mystery I guess"