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Joke of the Day

"What type of currency do people use in outer space? STARbucks."

"'C' has just been promoted to the second letter of the alphabet! However R & D believe the rise in C levels will result in a loss of B's."

"Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned."

"Why go out and be a 3rd wheel when you can stay home and be a unicycle?"

"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"I asked my waiter how long my pizza would be... his reply was, not very long."

"The Vatican just deleted all the Pope's tweets. Because NO ONE denies reality like the Catholic Church."

"I experimented A LOT in college. (I was a chemistry major.)"

"A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited."

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"