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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a black guy on the moon? An astronaut, you racist."

"Girl, are you Sodium Hydroxide? cause you basic."

"What do you call a mexican baptism? Bean dip."

"Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria's Secret when I will hold your boobs up all day for half that?!"

"I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH SWEET TEA AND I'M SO AWAKE AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWAKE AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE IN A WHILE, LUNGES!!"

"I'm giving up negativity for lent. We'll see how long that lasts. Edit: aware it should be pessimism. This is a serious quote from a friend who didn't realise what she'd said."

"For sale: Standards. Mint condition. Barely used."

"People who replace ""Christ"" with ""X"" are missing the whole point of what the ChristBox 360 is about."

"So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today."

"What do Monica Lewinsky and the New York Giants have in common? They were both terrorized by Clinton Dix, Ha Ha."