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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? As a child, you could have been anything. And one by one, you didn't become any of them."

"Roy Hodgson has told the England squad that they'll have to tighten their belts next week. He also added that they should not remove them until the ""fasten seat belt"" sign goes out."

"Zombies are categorically asexual as they are more interested in taking head than giving head."

"A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: ""What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"" ""Well, I don't know"" she answers shyly. ""OK, that I give you another year to think about it..."""

"I've found a place with 90% recycling rate r/jokes"

"Two guys walk into a bar... The first guy looks at the second guy and says... ""You ever wonder why we always walk in together?"""

"Why do many people call my penis the 'Big Mac'? Because it doesn't look as good or as big as it did in the adverts. :("

"What's the worst thing a girl can hear when she's giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? ""I'm not Willie Nelson..."""

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"

"I should sell this house, the rooms spin when I drink vodka."