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Joke of the Day

"Why do many people call my penis the 'Big Mac'? Because it doesn't look as good or as big as it did in the adverts. :("

"Hey, Sean Bean, it's either pronounced Shaun Baun or Seen Bean. You can't have it both ways."

"Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheetahs !"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out standing in his field."

"Customer: Waiter I can't eat this meal. Waiter: Why not? It looks all right to me. Customer: I don't have a fork."

"What do you call a penis potato? A dictator!"

"Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll wtf, that thing is filthy. Wash your hands immediately."

"I might be OCD, but I'm not falling for that check engine bullshit. It's there."

"I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit."

"What do you call a monkey named James that's afraid of everything? Jim-pansy"