209616

Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's their job to help people find their way in dark places! (MASH s1 ep7)"

"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""

"How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb? How many did it take last year?"

"Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long."

"When the smoke detector goes off, it's time to flip the grilled cheese sandwich."

"My bank has informed me that Twitter followers can not be used as collateral for a car loan. You guys are useless."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls!"

"Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house? Because he was Snowden"

"Cannibal Boy: I've brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we'll have him tomorrow."