197429
Joke of the Day
"I should sell this house, the rooms spin when I drink vodka."
Next Joke
"Looks like coke Tastes like coke, smells like AHHHHWHATAMIDOINGWITHMYLIFE"
"A girl agreed to go on a date with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water. I schwepped her off her feet."
"As I looked at myself naked in the mirror I thought to myself... I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea in a minute."
"Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece."
"I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays."
"I asked a city dweller ""Do you know where the post office is?"" He said, ""Yes,"" and kept right on walking."
"Everyone on a flight is technically a flight attendant"
"Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking ""why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"""
"What's Hitler's favorite drink? Genocider"