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Joke of the Day

"What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison."

"It's going to be a busy couple of months for Caitlyn Jenner Mothers' Day and then Fathers' Day"

"Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's."

"I would literally never feel confident enough to drop a piece of equipment as expensive as a mic."

"Kim Kardashian compared getting through her divorce was like beating cancer. Except cancer is real. She should compare her stupidity to it."

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian? I don't know man, I just fly the drones."

"The clinic asked me why I had written an incorrect blood type on my form I told them it was Typo"

"[radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?"

"Guess what? Good guess"

"[High school reunion] Hey guys! Remember me!? ""No"" How about now? *puts an entire toilet on my head* (in unison) CHRIS!"