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Joke of the Day

"Thank you for calling. To speak with a human being, please hang up and travel back to the early 1990's."

"People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate' ...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog."

"Lunch. Meeting. Sure, let's ruin both at once."

"How big would jupiter be if it was as close to the earth as the moon..... Pretty damn big (courtesy of my daughter)"

"What does a burning Mexican farm smell like? Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos."

"I met a hot chick That girl was on fire."

"Women don't know what they want. Men don't know what they have."

"I like my men like I like my coffee: I don't like coffee."

"The Cleveland Browns Title says it all"

"Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole. :("