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Joke of the Day

"Kim Kardashian compared getting through her divorce was like beating cancer. Except cancer is real. She should compare her stupidity to it."

"Say the punchline first How do you ruin a joke?"

"I spend way too much time deciding on whether I should use ""Lol"", ""Lmao"", ""Rofl"", or ""Haha"" in my text message."

"a dog pisses on an ant... and the ant says ""hey watch it!"" and the dog says ""i don't have a watch"""

"My wife said that I need to pay more attention to what's going on around me. So, in 2010, I'm going to try harder."

"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."

"I saw a black man running from a shop with a turntable, amplifier and speakers under his arm being chased by a security guard. Talk about stereotypes."

"What do ya call it when a lizard goes completely limp? A reptile-dysfunction."

"I'm not racist... I'm not racist, cause racism is a crime, and crime is for black people."

"I hate passive-aggressive people. _You know what you did_"