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Joke of the Day

"When on a school trip, somebody pissed in the shower. It really ruined the trip to Auschwitz."

"Why being called handsome is an insult When you have a 3 way, it's called a threesome When you have a 2 way, it's called a twosome When you have a 1 way, it's called a handsome"

"Isn't it annoying when someone sits next to you in an empty cinema? I didn't think so but that's what my new best friend is telling security"

"Doctor Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake Sleep in another room then!"

"Every time I lose a sock I like to imagine it went to set one of Dobby's house elf friends free."

"I cheated on my 24 year old girlfriend I apologized and told her my mistress is half the woman she is. ""That's because she's 12!"", said my girlfriend."

"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."

"Parenting is much harder nowadays. For example, you have to be able to push a kid on a swing and tweet at the same time."

"Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!"

"I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long. "