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Joke of the Day

"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."

"I slipped and fell outside today... and when I got up, my wallet and keys were missing. Must've been black ice."

"What's the difference between a black man and an archealogist? One is a nerdy digger."

"I did a stand up gig once for the homeless. I said ""It's nice to see so many bums on seats""."

"Oh nothing, just editing this agreement. And by editing, I mean writing ""ool J"" after every mention of an LLC."

"Mortal: What is a million years like to you? God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you? God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny? God: Just a second."

"For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss."

"I think the easiest way to get a woman to sleep with you is to have her in bed with you when she's very tired."

"How do you add up a mountain? You summit."

"What's a bees favourite novel ? The Great Gats-bee !"