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Joke of the Day

"When i die, i want to die like my grandfather did, in his sleep not screaming like the other passengers in the car."

"Not sure if this girl I'm talking to online is real, so on our first date I'm gonna bring an image captcha for her to solve."

"Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned."

"You can't out wit a jew but... You can auschwitz him"

"AlgeBron James is the best mathlete in the league"

"Microwaved Food is a lot like Schroedinger's Cat It could be really hot or stone cold."

"Dog ate raw chicken so I called the vet to see what I could do He asked what I think they eat in the wild. Basically, he called me an idiot"

"My LASIK doctor said that if I get 2000 upvotes on this post I'll get free treatment. Upvote for visibility."

"When is a dog not a dog? When it is pure bread. Told to me by a friend."

"It funny that when it's black on white, it's a crime. When it it's white on black, it's a hate crime."