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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned."

"When/why do feminists hate cannibals? When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading."

"So I read on a website to ""treat your furry friend once a week."" So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia."

"I traded five of my rolex wathces for a ballon animal... It really was a waste of time. (Sorry for any bad english and what not, nord typing)"

"Hey, websites, don't worry about me. I'll accept the fuck out of your terms and conditions."

"There's a hole in the nudist camp wall... The police are looking into it."

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant? Because he was cold and calculating."

"Revenge idea if a girlfriend dumps you: sneak into her house, tighten the lids on all her jars."

"What did Redditor Jesus say to Lazarus? I see your dead body and raise you back to life (NSFL)"