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Joke of the Day

"My LASIK doctor said that if I get 2000 upvotes on this post I'll get free treatment. Upvote for visibility."

"god: go to earth jesus: why god: i have a plan jesus: is it a nice plan god: it's a plan"

"*PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin"

"whoops i accidentally spilled a whole pizza in my mouth"

"A girl recognised me This girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore."

"My asian friend told me a hilarious joke today... Unfortunately, I had reddit be-4chan."

"Sorry I tweeted before texting you back. Sorry I opened your Snapchat but didn't respond. Sorry these are things we actually worry about now"

"I'm beginning to worry about my obsession with technology. I told my doctor, ""I think I'm addicted to Twitter."" He replied, ""I don't follow you."""

"Where does the brown sugar go to watch a movie? The Cinemon."

"LIFE HACK: hide a hot dog in your popcorn to give your date something to play with while you enjoy the movie"