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Joke of the Day

"Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left? Repeat. Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left?"

"What did the Giant say after he ate Tonga? 'I want Samoa!'"

"I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops"

"your mom is so stupid... She put gum up her ass so she can pop shit. A very old joke that for some reason makes me giggle every time..."

"What's better than having a garbanzo bean on your face? Having a chickpea on your face."

"What kind of wine does Bruce Lee pair with a fish dinner? None, he just has some WATAH!"

"A girl couldn't decide which mascara to use Bitch couldn't makeup her mind."

"I think always mixing up vocabulary words in school hurt my career options. Because I always wanted to be an archipelago just like ""Indiana Jones""!"

"If Kevin Bacon never said ""want some bacon with your eggs"" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore."

"We're an eclectic bunch here, but we all have one thing in common: We've sacrificed the chance to run for public office with these tweets."