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Joke of the Day
"What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet? A thousand dogs."
Next Joke
"If the stick figure people started committing more crimes... I could be a legendary sketch artist for the FBI."
"Saw a group of ants carrying a Funyun and it made me wish my friends and I had a giant Funyun."
"Being a man of many flavors. I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran."
"Why is Light Beer like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"
"Women should be like a well placed rug You should be able to lay them then leave them"
"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-Sore-Arse"
"when fruit talks Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree. Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella. Walnut: I look exactly like a brain. Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?"
"What would happen if you ate yeast and polish? You would rise and shine."
"[swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would"