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Joke of the Day

"What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet? A thousand dogs."

"Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance."

"Did you hear the one about the constipated math teacher? She worked it out with a pencil."

"*ties husband's hands to headboard* *turns out lights* *opens laptop* ""Welcome to my PowerPoint presentation 'Curtains: How About These?'"""

"Do you guys wanna jear a hoke about dyslexics? I had a joke about Alzheimer's but damnit, I don't remember it."

"my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me"

"Hey, do you like Duck Hunt? What are you, a lesbian duck?"

"My six year old niece made up this joke. I think she may be a comedic prodigy. Why did the sweater go to boot camp? To warm up!"

"Why is it easy for chicks to talk ? Because talk is cheep !"

"How did the doctor determine that the baby was affected by the Zika virus? It was a no brainer."