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Joke of the Day

"my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me"

"A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon."

"Your momma is so fat, her personal website has a .org domain"

"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"

"Do headphones just tie themselves in knots while we're not looking?"

"TIL that the average mans penis is still larger than the recent study of average global penis size."

"What is Donald trumps favorite street? Wall Street *badum tshhh*"

"My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper. It was a Cardi Yak arrest."

"Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the French press"

"How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb? They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation."