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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys wanna jear a hoke about dyslexics? I had a joke about Alzheimer's but damnit, I don't remember it."

"My hobbies include humming the Jurassic Park theme song to my chickens, to make them feel more in touch with their ancestors."

"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowoman? Snowballs."

"What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank? A cab."

"How do you recognize a rich ethiopian? He only wears Rolex around his waist."

"Nike actually called me and asked me to stop doing it."

"I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, ""people."""

"Do you know why the guy who picks up medical waste from the vet drives a car shaped like a dog bone? He likes to drive the dog's nuts."

"Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? If it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan!"