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Joke of the Day

"Why is it easy for chicks to talk ? Because talk is cheep !"

"What do you call someone who likes speed? Racist."

"Just saw a couple of dudes trying to grab an old lady's purse so I ran over to help. We got it off her eventually"

"What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt."

"Parent/Child conversation tweets are always so cute & sweet! Thought I'd try one: 18: Can I borrow the car? Me: No Wasn't that adorable?!"

"What is the difference between period blood and sand? You can't gargle sand!"

"A Gnome Joke What do you call a gnome who's highly fashionable and likes to produce regular, metrical beats? A Metrognome"

"[PHONE] ""TSA, How can I help you?"" Me: ""Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!"" Agent: ""Umm..."" Me: ""DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"""

"How many tickles does it take to make laugh an octopus ? Ten tickles"

"~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosisDies ~ Comes back as ghost ... finds keys"