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Joke of the Day

"X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much."

"What's 9+10? 21 pairs of Deez Nuts"

"Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all."

"If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe"

"What Is Brown and Rhymes With Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"The doctors tell me I have Alzheimer's, cancer and hepatitis. It could be worse. I could have Alzheimer's."

"Chess Set ""I'd like to buy this chess set please"" ""How will you be paying, sir?"" ""Check mate"".."

"What is the difference between pile of dead babies and pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"My boss said to ""treat customers like you treat your mother"", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails."

"Why won't the pimp date any of his girls? Because he doesn't want to get involved with a cockworker."