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Joke of the Day

"The doctors tell me I have Alzheimer's, cancer and hepatitis. It could be worse. I could have Alzheimer's."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.."

"What do eggs say when they're turnt? Omelette, fam"

"GF (from 2nd floor window): either the trampoline goes or I go! ME: It ... was ... nice ... knowing ... you"

"I plan on getting ""sidewalk nap"" drunk tonight."

"What do you call a myth from the middle east? A turban legend"

"Yo mama is so fat NASA wants to add her to the solar system"

"Before Batgirl can become Batwoman she has to have a Batmitzvah."

"It's like Batman didn't even care about crime in the cities surrounding Gotham."

"Who pushed the neonate out an endometrium? Your mom."