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Joke of the Day

"If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe"

"A black woman had 5 sons name Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone and Tyrone.... How did she tell them apart? She called them by their last names"

"I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that's all I see, ugly is the new hot!"

"How do you say 'The Torah' in German? Kindling."

"What's the name of China's new atmosphere-cleanup program? The Desolation of Smog."

"What does Jean Valjean use to listen to music? Cosettes."

"I think I married someone else's soulmate. I wish they'd come get him."

"I'm capable of having female friends. We can totally snuggle naked and I won't try anything funny."

"Back in my day, you didn't even know who was calling you when your phone rang. Shit was scary."

"[Sexting] ""So, what are you wearing?"" A nice blouse and a light sweater. Sensible shoes."