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Joke of the Day
"[NSFW] Excuse me, are you hungry? Good, because I'm fucking hungry tonight!"
Next Joke
"Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here."
"What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit"
"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."
"I think I'm getting Anal Glaucoma.... I don't see my ass going into work today"
"U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months"
"What do you call a naked blond standing on her hands? A brunette with bad breath."
"I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps."
"[quickly jumps into the back of a cab] ME: How far will this get me? *i hand the driver 14 peanut m&ms with the chocolate sucked off*"
"Chuck Norris threw a grenade, killing 50 people... Then the grenade exploded."