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Joke of the Day

"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."

"When those Subway ""$5 Footlong"" commercials come on, every man is quietly calculating how much his penis is worth."

"Upon request of a signature, a nurse reaches into her pocket only to find a thermometer... she exclaims, ""Some asshole's got my pen!"""

"I met a French gentleman in the bathroom. How do I know he was French, do you ask? He went oui, oui. Source: my 13 year old brother."

"Why are there no penguins in Britain? They're scared of Wales."

"Why is it... old people say ""there's no place like home"", yet when you put them in one..."

"X = Y The teacher asked the student, ""If x=y, what is x?"" The student answered, ""y?"" The teacher replied, ""why not?"""

"What did Consuela say to her boyfriend after he shagged her in the field? Grassy Ass"

"I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go"

"The only French I know are words for food items and the chorus of Lady Marmelade. Turns out that's all you really need."