199513

Joke of the Day

"Me: Have fun on your date. Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high? Me: You really aren't my kid are you?"

"Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive."

"What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild? deez nuts"

"What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie"

"Today there was a sale at the Maul Everything was half off"

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? They both have the same middle names."

"I once met a Redditor in Europe. His username Czechs out."

"Every day, I hope I don't get bitten by a spider. I'm not afraid of spiders, I just don't want the responsibility of being a superhero."

"What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean ? Nothing they just waved!!! Sea what I did there!!! If you laughed hit that like button, come on don't be a beach Thank you thank you "

"How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris."