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Joke of the Day

"Why have they created sweet tampons? for sour puss(ys)"

"If you ask for ice water in the south they look at you funny, down here they drink something called ass water?"

"Haaha What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off."

"""Of course size matters!"" My girlfriend screamed when I told her how big it was. Who the fuck wants a small pizza?"

"""He's more scared of you than you are of him"" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me"

"What is colder than the dwarf planet Pluto? Legal judgements against fathers"

"So I was buying a ticket for a train from London to Paris... And the man behind the desk said, ""Eurostar?"" So I replied, ""Well I've been on TV, but I'm no Johnny Depp!"""

"Did you hear about the hippie who got lost at sea? He was too far out!"

"Did you know that Hillary's planning on being the first TG President? Yeah - after she's elected, she has plans to turn into a woman."

"As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK."