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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the hippie who got lost at sea? He was too far out!"

"What did the eyeball say? Eyes, in deep despair, looking up, said in a passive tone, ""wazzup brow"""

"Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl."

"How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper!"

"I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, ""That's where it belongs."""

"I used to be confused by the quote ""with age comes wisdom"", but now that I'm older, I think I've finally figured it out."

"""One mans trash, is another mans treasure"" I guess thats a good way to say that your girlfriend is a whore..."

"AMA request: Paul McCartney How big of an impact has Kanye been to your music career blowing up?"

"Hey [STOP] Got your voicemail earlier [STOP] I'm replying with a telegram because you're apparently a big fan of outdated technology [STOP]"

"Seriously, why put the suicide hotline on the backs of buses? Put it on the fronts."