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Joke of the Day

"So I was buying a ticket for a train from London to Paris... And the man behind the desk said, ""Eurostar?"" So I replied, ""Well I've been on TV, but I'm no Johnny Depp!"""

"(boom boom clap) (boom boom clap) Daisy you're a dog you're a good dog Playing in the park Gonna eat some cool bugs today"

"Me: The bathroom Wife: What? Me: I was about to get off the couch and just wanted to stop you before you asked where I was going."

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston? [Oc] The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead."

"*Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?"

"Why were all the ladies attracted to Jesus? Because he was hung like this. (Hold your arms out wide)"

"I just typed ""cupkale"" instead of ""cupcake"" and accidentally invented what has to be the worst dessert idea ever."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesawus"

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have in common? They both have the same middle names."

"I'm no fan of Smokey the Bear. He's just the first step on the slippery slope to vigilantism."