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Joke of the Day

"As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK."

"Jewish Mathematics."

"The bartender says ""we don't serve particles that disrupt time flow!"" A tachyon particle walks into a bar......."

"What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move? Nah, mastay"

"Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. I hate Bounty Hunters."

"Saw a sign on the highway that said ""Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500"" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money..."

"What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. An asian girl? Irene."

"What has five arms, three legs and a head? The finish line at the Boston Marathon"

"The pun-ishment of notes When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects."

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."