157087

Joke of the Day

"There is no amount of money I wouldn't pay for a remote control that could walk itself over to me from the other side of the room."

"My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"What kind of music does your mailman like? Postrock/Postpunk"

"If you're not part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas."

"What does an LGBT rabbi call a blessing? a brucea"

"I was told my $750 iPhone would improve the quality of my phone calls, but my family keeps calling telling me the same shit."

"Tell the Starbucks barista that your name is Voldemort. Watch for those who don't flinch when the name is called. They will be your allies."

"What material should you never use to create or build with? Tin that was mined by moles. Anything you make with it melts immediately."

"Are you alone? Afraid? Lonely? Then you'd better turn up the TV because I just heard a noise"

"The Punished Schoolboy by Major Bumsaw"