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Joke of the Day

"My sister didn't believe me when I said I could drive spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"Hey dude! Would we be considered in-laws if I slept with your wife? No... we'd be even."

"*brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*"

"Why did Oscar Pistorius shoot his girlfriend in the bathroom? Because he's one of the few people in World that couldn't kick down the door."

"Filming my own version of ""Taken"" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter."

"A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: ""Show me if what they say about black men is true"". He grabs her purse and runs"

"There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable."

"I tried talking with a midget in prison uniform going down an elevator... But he was a little condescending."

"You got acute appendicitis .. No, YOU got a cute appendicitis *winks at doctor*"

"Why did the tadpole feel lonely ? Because he was newt to the area !"