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Joke of the Day

"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."

"Asian Jokes are just wong"

"There was a kidnapping at school today. ... ... .... Everything's okay. He woke up."

"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."

"What's a pirate's favorite workout program? Pirates (pronounced like pilates)"

"My sister thinks macadamia nuts is an STD."

"I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial."

"Chipotle is releasing a new ""Ravens"" burrito. It comes with everything but rice."

"People usually say I make bad jokes. I tell them I'm not their parents."

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."