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Joke of the Day

"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."

"The awesome moment when you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins you"

"It's the little differences that can be the most important. For example, the difference between getting laid at your high-school reunion and getting laid at your family reunion."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"How do fish party Seaweed"

"Well Aaron Hernandez used to be a ""tight-end""... Now he's a wide receiver"

"Do you want to hear a joke about Pizza? Nah it's too cheesy"

"How's your baby? Your baby penis!"

"I told facebook my concerns about lack of privacy; they said they already knew how I felt about it."

"This hating of people who breast feed in public places has to stop! I'll raise my dog however I like."