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Joke of the Day

"At some point in time, the brain named itself. You think it would have gone with something a little better, like Bernard."

"Did you hear about the physics student that committed suicide by jumping off a skyscraper? What a shame. He had so much potential."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a race with the egg, but I'm not sure who came first."

"Why should you never invite a boxer to a party? He always throws the punch."

"Yo' momma so fat ... ... I pictured her in my head, and bitch broke my neck."

"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or people may think were nuts."

"There's a spider that's been in the same place on my living room wall for an hour so he's essentially also watching Shrek."

"Today at work a patient told me he had pyramid shaped cataracts in his eyes He was an old Giza"

"If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward."