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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are dating? OMg"
Next Joke
"All mushrooms are edible. ...Once."
"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"
"This banker I know has absolutely no friends... I think he's loanly"
"Today is apparently Ash Wednesday which I can only assume has something to do with our hero from the hit TV show Pokemon."
"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Father's day."
"Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm? It was the pot calling the cattle back."
"Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done"
"How to play the Michael Brown drinking game Just stand there and take the 8 shots."
"A flight attendant says to a man... ""Would you like headphones?"" The man replies, ""How did you know my name was Phones?"""