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Joke of the Day

"Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done"

"(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname... Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute. I just didn't expect it to be so literal though."

"'He looks just like you' is my favorite way to tell someone that their baby is ugly."

"Two drums and a cymbal fall of a cliff... ...ba-dum chhhhhhhhhhh"

"Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !"

"The guy who wrote the book ""everybody poops""... ...should write Number 2"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them."

"Hitler was the worst track runner he couldn't even finish one race"

"What do you call martial arts for cows? Mooey Thai."