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Joke of the Day

"Where do you weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow."

"I'm single with no kids. I don't answer to anyone. ""Meow."" Okay! I'm opening the can now! Please don't shred the toilet paper again!"

"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl I wanted my first night to be special."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"Why are cowboy hats curled up on the sides? Cowboys can sit three abreast in the front seat of a pickup truck that way."

"A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, ""Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!"" The toad yells back, ""Naw man, you're in de-nile"""

"Fun prank: Tell an English major how ""impactful"" something is."

"Dear prisoners: How about liquid soap? You're welcome."

"What did the starfish say when it realized that it lost it's ability to regenerate limbs? I can't remember."

"I guess this is why they don't let kids be lawyers You just know one would've gotten Jared off."