144899

Joke of the Day

"What did the man say when the bass was too loud for his ears? ""That megahertz"" What did the woman get in response when she asked if his ears were okay? 100 watts"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Strockin' Off"

"Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ? On squid row !"

"I'm really good at wrapping presents. It's a gift."

"How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days."

"A lot of comedy today is observational humor You guys ever noticed that?"

"Are you waiting for my comeback? You can scrape it off your mom's teeth"

"How many ""Mean Girls"" jokes is too many? The limit does not exist"

"[son hands me a picture he painted a school] That's great. Let's just put that in the 'maybe has epilepsy' pile."

"70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots."