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Joke of the Day

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but the light bulb really has to want to change."

"A website for religious potato chip lovers...Christian Pringle."

"Did you hear about the restaurant that got closed down because they were serving just the rear ends of animals? Just-ass was served"

"German girlfriend My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done."

"What'd they call that place with the collection of escape artist memorabilia? now museum, now you don't"

"Me: I'm so tired I need to sleep. Ambien: Here I'll help... Hey don't forget to take off your clothes and pretend that you're snow! Me: K"

"Why did the engineer drive the backwards? He had a loco motive."

"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""

"What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery? ""Suture self!"""

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make everything up."