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Joke of the Day

"Why are cowboy hats curled up on the sides? Cowboys can sit three abreast in the front seat of a pickup truck that way."

"What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."

"fire the chauffeur! Wife: ""I'm gonna fire our chauffeur!!! He's such a pathetic driver, this is the third time he almost got me killed...."" Husband: ""Dear, lets give him another chance."""

"I refuse to vote in the US presidential elections! Mainly because I don't live there, nor am I american."

"Saw this on a shirt Silence is golden: Duct tape is silver"

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""why the long face?"" To which the horse replies ""I have testicular cancer""."

"I want my ashes scattered when I die. I don't like people visiting me now.... I'll be damned if I want visitors when I'm dead."

"My daughter teaches me something every day. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes"

"Witnessing a person attempt to use a word that is beyond their comprehension is like watching a dog eat a bee."

"When cannibals ate missionary When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion."