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Joke of the Day

"Two Bar S truck drivers get caught in a snowstorm. Stranded for days. They cannibalize each other than eat their product."

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? No one knows it's never happened."

"What do you call a seagull by the bay? A bagel."

"What is long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber"

"Five year old Little Johnny was lost so he went up to a policeman and said ""I've lost my dad!"" The policeman said ""What's he like?"" Little Johnny replied ""Beer and women!"""

"NURSE: She's in a coma. She's been on hungerstrike [boyfriend walks in with just enough chips for himself] PATIENT: *Opens one eye*"

"Careful girls, fat guys just wanna get inside your pantries."

"These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby... ..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone"

"In movies when people go underwater, I like to hold my breath and see if I would survive in that situation. I died in Finding Nemo."