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Joke of the Day

"How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!"

"""Last call for flight 254"" [Runs to gate] ""You barely made it"" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan"

"If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating ""Little did they know..."" over and over and over."

"Do you know what the white stuff in bird poop is? More bird poop."

"Did you guys hear about the girl that had three vaginas? She kept getting fucked left, right and centre."

"What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator? An investigator."

"What do fish think about air? It's UN-B-REATHABLE!"

"Are you the fourth derivative of a position function? Cause you're a jerk!"

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! (This was my favourite joke when I was 8) :)"

"Y'know what really brings out the inner child in you? Abortion"