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Joke of the Day

"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."

"Did you hear about the witch who went in for the lovely legs competition? She was beaten by the microphone stand."

"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"

"Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you."

"Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church..... They all look at you with disgust, but deep down, you know they want some, too."

"I'm proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don't want to hang out with you now but I'm still proud..."

"What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus."

"I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her. It's called ""Bae Watch""."

"how to you put a big buffalo in a freezer???? ZZZZzzzzz dont think it cannot happen just say NO"

"I tried baby proofing my home.. But they keep getting in"