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Joke of the Day

"If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said ""let them eat cake,"" I would've been like ""wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."""

"One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel"

"My question is: how did she manage to forget the result?"

"Wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep...."

"I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment."

"Do you like pudding? Bill Cosby like pudding his dick where it didn't belong."

"i hate to get political on here but like honestly smokin weed is frickin sweet as hell ha ha"

"How long does it take for stormtroopers to obey Kylo Ren? Just the First Order."

"A friend asked how I'd describe a hot air balloon, and I just told him it's a lot like my ex, but with a basket."

"How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas? Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste."