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Joke of the Day

"One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel"

"Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry."

"I robbed a place with my boner and said it was a gun... I got a pretty STIFF punishment. I did HARD time. It was LONG sentence."

"If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger..."

"Q: What kind of pizza do pilots like? A: Plain."

"What's the difference between 1998 and 2016? Hillary Clinton is the punch line this time"

"How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car? In an ash tray"

"How many cops does it tale to change a light bulb? Trick question. They just beat the room for being black."

"A Sober Irishman... ."

"I was going to buy some classical CDs... But it turns out I'm baroque."