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Joke of the Day

"I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment."

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups? Because the border says ""No TRESpassing"""

"Being a hitman is very lucrative I make a living and a killing off of it"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head when it hits a windshield? Its ass."

"I finally finished baby proofing the house. Let's see those babies get in here now."

"So, a happy Muslim on an empty stomach enters a gay bar............. Bartender asks, ""What will it be!?"" The Muslim replies, ""Shots for everyone!"""

"What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon every year? About tennish."

"What does 36+16 equal to? A prison sentence."

"Que es eso? *takes a bite* Queso!"

"What was Stalin's favorite chemical equation? HAmAr + SiCl"